Be Still And Allow The Master To Work

My mind lately has been going a mile a minute.  There seems to be a lot of “things” happening around me, but I just can’t seem to put my finger on what those “things” are exactly.  What I do know, is that I am coming into a season of growing…again.  I have behaviors that I desperately need to break and that God wants to “chisel” off of me.  I’ve spent the last few weeks working out what it is that God is wanting me to do to work on breaking those behaviors.  What keeps coming to the forefront are a few things.

  1. I need to do a Tongue Fast again.
  2. Extremely limit my time on Facebook.
  3. Unplug from things and set strict time limits.
  4. Sit outside, in the quiet, and listen.

I did a Tongue Fast a few years back.  For me, that consisted of not speaking and only writing everything down that I wanted to say.  If I was happy, I had to write it.  If I was mad, I had to write it.  The purpose was to SEE the words that I would normally speak.  By seeing what I would say, it made me think about whether it was really worth saying.  How many words had I wasted because they were hastily spoken, without thought?  It’s time for a refresher of seeing the words again.  James 1:19 tells us, Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, SLOW TO SPEAK, and slow to get angry.  I need to slow my “speak” down.

I need to limit my Facebook and other electronics time drastically.  These things are doing nothing but wasting time and affect my emotions and attitude towards my family and others.  I have a tendency to be reactory when my anxiety about something is triggered.  By constantly having Facebook or other media in my face, I keep myself in that heightened state of anxiety and tension.  Which in turn makes me short with others and quick to get angered.  It leaves my mind in a constant whirl and makes it nearly impossible to find stillness.  Scripture tells us to “Be STILL and KNOW that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).  How is that possible when we leave no room for stillness?  Which leads to my last point…

Nature is very healing.  There is a rawness to it that when we sit and observe, we see that life isn’t as complicated as we make it.  There is a simpleness in the ebb and flow of each day.  That simpleness gets lost by the noise that we allow in.  Most of the excess noise is nothing more than a distraction from the simpleness that God wants with us.  Just to sit and listen.  Only then will the calm & peace come.  It’s time for me to be still.  This process of molding and shaping is going to be painful.  It may be my most painful yet.  I will be forced to face things about myself and my past that I’ve wanted to ignore.  That stillness with God will become more important that anything else.  Only in the stillness with Him will my true healing and change begin.

When was the last time you were able to truly “be still”?  Something to really think about.  =)  Be Blessed!

The Start of A New Venture

As most of you know, I’m a SAHM.  I went back to work in 2013 at a gas station and I worked 3rd shift for a year.  It was tough on my family since I did nothing but sleep all day and was not mentally present when I was awake since I was always exhausted.  I struggled toward the end with whether it was the right decision to keep working or not.  Needless to say, I got my answer.  I am back at home and every time I have talked about going back to work, Hunter melts down.  It creates too much change in our house for me not to be here and managing things.  So, what can I do?  I need to do something.

I’ve have been praying for awhile now about what the answer would be and I could never get peace about me going back to work outside of the home. Well, Tevis works at a place where he has access to discarded furniture. Every so often he would call me and say, “Hey!  There is this _____.  Do you think we could use it?”  I didn’t pick up on it then, but over the last few months it started dawning on me that maybe we could just start repurposing these things.

He brought home this coffee table one day.  It has sat in our basement for a few weeks while I tried to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with it.  I decided on a bench.  Pinterest is a handy little tool!

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I went to Hancock Fabric and found a piece of upholstery that was 90% off AND I got to use a 15% off coupon, too!  Then we went to Michael’s and bought some black spray paint and got to use a 50% off coupon for it.  And we were ready to go!  Oh, forgot to mention that the padding for it, Tevis got from work too.  We were able to put a memory foam seat on it!  Sweet!

First things first…Time to dismantle the thing!

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Next, we had to measure and cut the padding for the seat cushion.  We used a thin piece of regular foam for the bottom and then memory foam for the top.

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After cutting the pieces to size, we sprayed an adhesive glue to the table top, just to hold it in place while we maneuvered it around.  Tevis lined up the pieces of foam on the material before we placed the top down.

Then, as Tevis pulled the material taut, I stapled it down.  He made sure that it was just taut enough to where it didn’t dimple the fabric around the edges.  We started on the short sides, then the long sides, leaving the corners for last.  We gathered the corners together and then stapled them down after we got it shaped in a way we liked.

Now, we get to paint!  We tried to get it done in one day, but we just couldn’t see since it had gotten dark and we noticed that the paint wasn’t liking the finish on the wood.  Tevis took it all to the shed and sanded it a little to give the paint something to adhere to.  I ended up having to finish the painting the next day in the basement since the temperature was too cold outside for the paint.

Once everything was dry, it was time for the fun part!  Putting it back together and seeing how it turned out!

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And then….TADA!!!

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It turned out great!  It wasn’t that hard to do.  It was a fun project and we will definitely be doing it again.  I just have to keep reminding myself that I can’t keep everything!  HA!

Tevis called the next day and said that he had found a dresser and head & footboard.  The dresser was not salvageable but the drawers were.  Now I have drawers in my basement and I can’t wait to show you what I plan to do with those!  As far as the headboard and footboard goes…it may end up as another bench.  Who knows!  I think I’m going to like this new adventure and I think I understand why I’ve not been given a “yes” about going back to work.  Is it going to be a huge income producer?  No, but it will supplement the same, if not more, that I would be making it I did go back to work.  And, I get to stay home and take care of my family still.  I think it’s a win all the way around.  =)  Be Blessed!

 

My Journey To Health…Weekly Update 14 &15 (I’m On The Mend)

I know, I know.  I didn’t post last week.  I promise I have a valid reason.  A month ago I developed a cough that progressively got worse.  I’ve just been really sick and I can honestly say, I haven’t been this sick in a LONG time.  Two weeks ago I finally called the doctor.  Come to find out I had a wonderfully established case of bronchitis, pneumonia in my left lung and starting in my right, and sinusitis.  He put me on an antibiotic, breathing treatments, and a steroid (forget weighing in).  After a few days, I wasn’t really getting any better and the cough had gotten worse.  I ended up catching something else too and Thursday night I was hit with chills and a fever and did nothing but cough my head off for the next 3 days (mainly at night).  We’re thinking that Tevis might have brought something home and since I was already weak, I picked it up.  But, I’m finally on the mend (I believe).  I still have a cough, but it’s nothing like it was.  Can’t talk a whole lot cause it triggers it, but I’m hoping that gets better over the next few days.

Anyway, I haven’t even bothered with weighing or measuring and honestly the only workout I have been able to do is cough (which I am counting!)  You use a TON of muscles when you do that and if they are sore, then it’s been a good workout!  At least that’s what I’m claiming.

So I haven’t given up or quit.  Just had a little detour.  Just say a little prayer for me to really kick this.  I missed church for the last 2 weeks and I’m not singing this week either because I can’t even really talk without coughing much less sing.  Even though I have nothing really to report, I still want to leave you with a bit of encouragement,.

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Sometimes we get so caught up in what we can see happening or not and we want things to happen fast.  Why do you think that we have all these fad diets and diet pills that can make you look like a bikini model in 2 days?!?  Every day.  Every single day we are getting better.  Every step is one step closer.  Just keep striving.  You’ll get there.  Even with the little detours on the path.  =)  Be Blessed!

My Journey To Health…Week 13 Update (He’s Our Daddy!)

Last week I was busy having a pity party for myself.  Figured out that the UGH feeling was coming from me incorporating sweet tea back into my diet.  I don’t drink it regularly and it’s always a half-cut, but when I am out running errands and…well you know how Walmart makes you thirsty.  Anyway, I’ve said it before.  I CAN’T HAVE SUGAR.  Even if I cut down on it.  That eliminates 99.99999% of all food on the market (not including fresh veg and fruits).  No wonder people are always sick.  Sugar is legal crack!  Keep them addicted, keep getting their money.  Stop poisoning our people!  *Jumps off soapbox*

Anyway, I was saying how I felt trapped by not being able to sway even the slightest amount from eating better.  I had a good friend who reminded me that I need to be reminding myself of “who my daddy was” when I feel trapped.  She sent me this video:

I remember back when I started this I had said that the majority of this journey was going to be mental.  I am at the mental part.  The beginning was adrenalin.  Now is where the rubber hits the road. Great things never come from comfort zones!  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  To have permanent change, I must have REAL change.  Not just physically, but mentally.  Ephesians 4:23 says, Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.

I’m a thinker and I tend to mull things over and over and over and over and…well, you get the point.  I lose sleep over my brain. Mentally is exactly where satan is going to attack me.  It reminds me of when Professor Snape is training Harry Potter to be strong mentally so that Voldermort can’t get into his thoughts.  “Control your emotions.  Descipline your mind.”  I’m including that scene in case you want to watch.

I need a strong mind.  I need to keep going but not on my strength alone.  I have to say that I think I’ve been trying to do a lot of this on my own.  Everyday I need to get up and put on a conjoined twin jacket and take another step.  I can’t successfully go where God isn’t. So often it isn’t he that has moved but I.  My road is extremely winding and hilly.  I can see Him walking on the easier path and I, like an ADD child, just going “oh look a butterfly!” or “Oh look a squirrel” and running off.  And all the while he is still just walking straight, yet he slows his pace to be able to be exactly where he needs to be when I return onto the His path.  We are never really adults.  We are just bigger kids.  Still learning.  Still exploring.  Still thinking that we know it all.  When in reality, we are still just His children whom he is trying to protect and guide and to train up for the battle ahead.

So, I say all that to really say this.  Yes, I had a bad week.  Yes, I have had a few bad weeks.  I can’t let that be the end all.  In reality all it is is just an ADD moment on my path.  But it is in those moments that Satan can (and will) jump into your head and fill it with all kinds of junk and play with your emotions and torment you with you fears.  We have to block him.  We have to fill our minds with the truths of God and what He says we are.  We have to walk in the truth of WHO HE IS!  That He’s our daddy!  And so often we really don’t know who He is because we haven’t taken the time to REALLY know Him.  He needs to become our conjoined twin.  Why do we make that so hard?  Stop paying attention to the shiny object that’s being dangled in front of you as a distraction and start paying attention to the rock that you are.  Take the time to let God polish and shine and tenderly care for it and you will turn into a true gem.  =)  Be Blessed!

PS- I know I was just all over the map there, but I need to tell you my updates.  I did lose poundage but no inches.  So, it’s still a win.  So I am down 43 lbs since the end of July.  =)

New Starting Weight: 342

Est. Heaviest: 365

Current Weight: 322

Total inches lost: 34

My Journey To Health…Week 12 Update (Consistent? Me? Naw!)

I’m sure you have figured out by now that I stink at being consistent.  Not with everything, but definitely when it comes to writing.  I’ve been in a slump.  I should have never taken vacation.  It’s very easy for me to get bored and thrown off track.  I have had many temper tantrums this week.  Mainly “I don’t want to!” or “I quit!” or “This is too hard!”.  I haven’t been feeling up to par.  Just really sluggish and not able to get myself moving.  Even when I workout, my body never seems to loosen up.  It has actually been getting more stiff as I go through my workout.  I don’t understand it.  Anyway, it’s even affecting my drive to write.  Maybe because I don’t have anything great to write about and I don’t feel like I’m holding up my end of the bargain.

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So, I didn’t weigh this week and I haven’t measured.  To be honest, I was afraid to.  I really am afraid of the setback.  Especially with knowing how I’m feeling.  You know, like when you can “FEEL” your fat and the excess weight?  That’s what it is.  I can fee how heavy I am.  UGH!  And I have only walked one day this week so far.  I’ve just been wanting to do stuff at home like yoga and Pilates.  It’s relaxing to me and walking long distance, lately, has been grueling for some reason.  What is going on with me?

Yesterday, instead of walking, I helped Tevis in the yard.  I chopped up a couple of stumps with an ax and then trimmed hedges.  Btw, the ax probably wasn’t a good idea for my back, but it was a great workout.  I love swinging an ax.  I love the feel of the weigh just flowing through the entire swing.  It’s like a wave that just washes over you from the onset of the swing to the follow through to the connecting of the swing.  Like watching a pendulum depend upon its own weight to sway and being able to feel it’s weighted freedom.  I just love that.  But, there is only so much that I can chop up in the yard.

Anyway, I have to get over this sluggish slump.  Why?  I have decided to give myself an insane (for me) challenge.  Connie and I (and whoever else wants to join us) are going to do a 5k run/walk in the spring.  I have no idea why I’m so driven to do that, but I want to be able to say I’ve done one.  I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would ever do something like that.  I know 5k isn’t that far, but it’s a start.  I’m pretty sure that at some point I will say “What have I gotten myself into!?!”  Then turn to Connie and ask “Why didn’t you stop me!?!”  I don’t like walking when there are people at the track.  This will be me having to walk in front a gagillion magillion tragillon people!  That’s ALOT OF PEOPLE (but 1 less than a zagillion.  That would really be too much!)  But, that’s my goal.  We’ll see how that turns out.  Then who knows what will happen next.

So, who has some tip or something to help me out here?  I’ve got to get over this sluggishness.  I want to feel good again instead of having to constantly force myself to get things done.  I would be most grateful.  Hope you week is going well.  =)  Be Blessed!

My Journey To Health…Week 11 Update (I’M BACK!)

I’m back!  We had a great week off.  We had friends from Wisconsin come and visit.  It was great seeing them.  We hadn’t seen them since we moved to TN almost 3 years ago.  It was a whirlwind visit.  We spent a day in Gatlinburg and it’s always great to go there because I have so many fond memories of vacationing and camping there.  The beauty is absolutely breathtaking.  Hunter played in the creeks (as did Tevis) and Destiny wandered around taking pictures.  It was nice to just spend time together with our friends.

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The vacation continued with work.  Tevis works a regular fulltime job outside of his position at the church, so it doesn’t leave a lot of time for bigger projects…like destroying the yard.  I mean, isn’t that everyones idea of a great vacation?  When we bought the house, it had been in an estate for a few years.  It needs updating inside and out.  So, we took the time last week to pull out everything that we didn’t want in it.  Now, we have a clean(ish) slate to start planting and landscaping it the way we would like.  We would like to build a patio or deck on the front just off the front stoop, but first the bushes HAD to go.  It was nice to finally be able to get something done that was substantial.

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Anyway, I didn’t get a lot of walking in last week.  I didn’t walk at all with the girls.  I got to walk last night for a little.  My back is WAY out of alignment and I have a couple fixated discs.  It hurts to stand for longer than 10 minutes or it feels like gravity is 4x what it normally is.  Needless to say, my body is rebelling against me and screaming since I made it lose so much weight so fast.  So, getting a realignment is a must if I plan on keeping my “vehicle” on the road.

Something awesome that happened is that even though I was on vacation (and behaved badly), I DIDN’T GAIN ANY WEIGHT!!!!!!  That is a HUGE score!  Normally I can look at water and put on ten pounds.  That’s really not a joke.  It’s actually a big fear of mine because that has always been the pattern.  I stray from what becomes normal (or have a cheat day), I would literally weigh in anywhere from 5 to 10 lbs heavier.  It didn’t happen this week.  I did gain a couple of inches but I don’t know if that is because I measured in a hurry and might not have measured in my normal spots.  It doesn’t matter.  I still lost weight!  I ended up losing another 6lbs.  WOOHOO!!!

New Starting Weight: 342

Est. Heaviest: 365

Current Weight: 330

Total inches lost: 34

This week my baby sister will be in.  She is going to go and see my doctor since she has been such a huge help for me.  Ruthie is cut from the same cloth as I, so we have similar issues.  I get the opportunity to walk with her this week and I can’t wait!  Have a great week yall!  =)  Be Blessed!

My Journey To Health….Week 9 Update

wpid-df415da7c8ec5997239fd48a4db200c1.jpgYesterday I had a friend call and asked if I would go walking with her.  She likes to walk on the Greenbelt.  It’s a beautiful path that we have here in TN that goes on forever.  I had never been before and was excited to have a new place to walk that is absolutely beautiful.  We met at the Exchange Place.  Never seen that either, but I WILL be going back.  It has a bunch of old piece-on-piece cabins.  We love those!  Anyway, I hadn’t really walked in a couple of weeks.  I haven’t been feeling up to par and have been hurting a lot in my joints.  My body is fighting itself and the junk that we have discovered is really built up.  Flushing toxins out of your body is hard, but will be oh so worth it once it’s done.

We met up and we started down this path.  It was gorgeous.  Every step was wonderful.  It was a nice pace and I felt great!  We were just chatting away and then I noticed that we had been going downhill for quite a bit.  And it kept going.  Then I remembered that downhill is great…until you have to come back up!  It finally bottomed out and started going uphill.  You mean I have to do this TWICE?!?  WHERE IN THE WORLD DID SHE BRING ME!?!  I was NOT prepared for this!  I didn’t even bring survival gear!  I didn’t notify anyone of my coordinates.  It felt like when I was hiking to Abrams Falls in the Smokies and I was crying to Tevis that rescue choppers wouldn’t even be able to find me and I would have to die there.

Then, I saw something coming at me in the distance.  It was approaching at a rapid pace.  Oh no!  We had crazy people on the trail.  I’m telling you they were CRAZY!  They scared me.  Momentarily, I feared for my life (“If I don’t make eye contact, maybe they’ll go away”).  What were they, you may ask?  Runners.  They were RUNNING!  RUNNING!  Why in the world would you run these inclines?!?  Have you lost your mind?  Do you enjoy pain?!?  Please, don’t ask me to do that.  Please, I can barely breathe and walk at the same time.  Just ignore the tortoise (btw, spoilers.  I win).

We turned around and were heading back.  The hill in the beginning was insane.  By the time we were halfway up it, my legs were jello and shaking.  We finished with 1.29 miles and I think I should get extra credit for those inclines, not just my steps!  I will tell you this.  I CAN’T WAIT TO DO IT AGAIN!  Even though I seriously considered crawling the rest of the way, I LOVED IT!  We are going back in 2 weeks when she gets back in town.  I was later informed that section was the hardest part of the trail.  Of course it was.  I never make anything easy on myself.  Here’s a screenshot of my walk.  To some it may not be much, but it kicked my butt!

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The impossible became possible.  There was no way I could have done that 2 months ago.  I have come a long way.  Even though when I look ahead I see nothing but a mountain still, when I look back, I see that where I was is so much further away.  And as of Monday, even though I didn’t lose anything this week, I still lost.  I lost 3.25 inches.  And I fit into a new shirt that was clinging to me when we bought it 2 weeks ago.

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New Starting Weight: 342

Est. Heaviest: 365

Current Weight: 336

Total inches lost: 36

So, keep going.  Every step, no matter how small, is another step.  It will get you there eventually.  Just NEVER GIVE UP!

=) Be Blessed!