Last week I was busy having a pity party for myself. Figured out that the UGH feeling was coming from me incorporating sweet tea back into my diet. I don’t drink it regularly and it’s always a half-cut, but when I am out running errands and…well you know how Walmart makes you thirsty. Anyway, I’ve said it before. I CAN’T HAVE SUGAR. Even if I cut down on it. That eliminates 99.99999% of all food on the market (not including fresh veg and fruits). No wonder people are always sick. Sugar is legal crack! Keep them addicted, keep getting their money. Stop poisoning our people! *Jumps off soapbox*
Anyway, I was saying how I felt trapped by not being able to sway even the slightest amount from eating better. I had a good friend who reminded me that I need to be reminding myself of “who my daddy was” when I feel trapped. She sent me this video:
I remember back when I started this I had said that the majority of this journey was going to be mental. I am at the mental part. The beginning was adrenalin. Now is where the rubber hits the road. Great things never come from comfort zones! Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. To have permanent change, I must have REAL change. Not just physically, but mentally. Ephesians 4:23 says, Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.
I’m a thinker and I tend to mull things over and over and over and over and…well, you get the point. I lose sleep over my brain. Mentally is exactly where satan is going to attack me. It reminds me of when Professor Snape is training Harry Potter to be strong mentally so that Voldermort can’t get into his thoughts. “Control your emotions. Descipline your mind.” I’m including that scene in case you want to watch.
I need a strong mind. I need to keep going but not on my strength alone. I have to say that I think I’ve been trying to do a lot of this on my own. Everyday I need to get up and put on a conjoined twin jacket and take another step. I can’t successfully go where God isn’t. So often it isn’t he that has moved but I. My road is extremely winding and hilly. I can see Him walking on the easier path and I, like an ADD child, just going “oh look a butterfly!” or “Oh look a squirrel” and running off. And all the while he is still just walking straight, yet he slows his pace to be able to be exactly where he needs to be when I return onto the His path. We are never really adults. We are just bigger kids. Still learning. Still exploring. Still thinking that we know it all. When in reality, we are still just His children whom he is trying to protect and guide and to train up for the battle ahead.
So, I say all that to really say this. Yes, I had a bad week. Yes, I have had a few bad weeks. I can’t let that be the end all. In reality all it is is just an ADD moment on my path. But it is in those moments that Satan can (and will) jump into your head and fill it with all kinds of junk and play with your emotions and torment you with you fears. We have to block him. We have to fill our minds with the truths of God and what He says we are. We have to walk in the truth of WHO HE IS! That He’s our daddy! And so often we really don’t know who He is because we haven’t taken the time to REALLY know Him. He needs to become our conjoined twin. Why do we make that so hard? Stop paying attention to the shiny object that’s being dangled in front of you as a distraction and start paying attention to the rock that you are. Take the time to let God polish and shine and tenderly care for it and you will turn into a true gem. =) Be Blessed!
PS- I know I was just all over the map there, but I need to tell you my updates. I did lose poundage but no inches. So, it’s still a win. So I am down 43 lbs since the end of July. =)
New Starting Weight: 342
Est. Heaviest: 365
Current Weight: 322
Total inches lost: 34