Retraining your thinking patterns can be tough. How you think about food, exercise and…yourself. Have you seen the Dove video about our perceptions of ourselves vs. the way others see us? If not, give it a watch.
Saturday I had my hair dyed. I have been graying since I was 20. The whole front part of my head is gray now, if I was to let it grow completely out. I hadn’t had my roots redone for a couple of months, so I had a good amount of gray showing. I don’t really care about my age. It never has bothered me. I’ve always found it humorous. I have been mistaken as Tevis’s mother before. Twice, as a matter of fact. And he was thought to be Destiny’s brother. No, that’s her father. He has always looked extremely young. So, i just tell them I’m a cougar..HA! The look on their faces is always priceless. The other day, I had someone ask me a question that just stayed in my mind. They said, “You’re in your mid-40’s, right?” No. No, I’m not. I’m 36. For some reason, it bothered me when it never had before. It stirred up all these insecurities in me.
Anyway, after that conversation, I had my gray covered with a totally different color. I’ll show you once we get all the red stripped out and it’s completely finished. Sunday, I wore my new jeans, a cami (one I dug back out of the give away bag), a cover shirt and my NEW hair. I walked in for rehearsal. A few double takes had to be done because they didn’t recognize who I was. At that point, I knew this was going to be a mentally exhausting morning.
You see, I struggle with compliments. I struggle with positive attention. I struggle with believing the compliments that people give me. I struggle with seeing myself the ways others see me. In all honesty, it’s because I don’t see or believe the way God sees me. Why is that so hard? Ephesians 4:23-24 says, Instead, renew the thinking in your mind by the Spirit and clothe yourself with the new person created according to God’s image in justice and true holiness. He’s very clear. We are a new person in Christ. We are to cast off the old thinking that we have. We were created in His image. He sees our beauty, scars and all. So, we need to, too. We can’t really change how we are if we don’t change how we think. Like it said in the Dove video…You are more beautiful than you think. Change that. I. I am. I am more beautiful. I am more beautiful than I think. Shorten that. I am beautiful. Try that on. Wear that. Let it sink in. Beauty isn’t necessarily about a number. It’s about a state of mind. I think, therefore I am. You are more beautiful that you think. =) Be Blessed!
PS: I know I just said it wasn’t about a number (and it really isn’t), but my number needs to be lower for health reasons. I’ll update you real quick. I had to weigh early this week, so I’m not reporting a huge loss. I lost 1 lb. but I lost 3.25 inches. There’s an upside to everything. I have manged to lose 30 lbs in 2 months. That’s CRAZINESS!!!! And the other doctors all these years kept telling me nothing was wrong with my thyroid…HA!
New Starting Weight: 342
Est. Heaviest: 365
Current Weight: 336
Total inches lost: 32.75