I have this internal struggle going on right now. It’s knowing that I need to not workout everyday, giving my body time to rest and the way I feel physically if I didn’t get a walk in. Yet, there is the other issue of if I don’t eat completely right, I feel really sluggish. This was the case yesterday.
I had a CRAZY day! It’s Tevis’s normal day off, so I try to get everything errand wise in on that day. I needed to have blood work done, have a meeting at church for class that I’m teaching this week, go to the bank, get home and finish cleaning before company came over, go grocery shopping, get the oil changed, return stuff to JC Penny’s, and cook supper. It did NOT all get done and I was dragging. I didn’t get a chance to eat, all day, until supper. That didn’t help at all. Also, didn’t feel like going walking since I couldn’t keep my eyes open by that evening.
So, today I’m really struggling to get moving. I’m stiff (back and knees) and feel unmotivated. I hate it when I feel like this. It feels like it did before I started this journey and that scares me. I have a gazillion questions going through my head…mainly all “what if…” Taunting reminders of failures past.
Today isn’t just going to be a physical battle. It is going to be a battle of the mind. I have to believe that this time is different. We KNOW this time is different. We know what has been the issue all along…this little thing called a thyroid, which can mess with SOOOO much! We KNOW this time is different because GOD HAS SAID SO!!! So, Satan, your lies are no long valid. They never were. I just fell prey to them. Not any more! The Lord says that by His wounds I am healed and HIS WORD NEVER FAILS! I will NOT be in bondage anymore because of my weight! I will NOT be in bondage anymore with the lies I hear in the back of my mind! I will NOT be in bondage anymore from my concern of being made fun of because of my size! I have allowed the world to shape me for too long, into a shape I was never intended to be. It is time to throw the gauntlet down and face my internal demons head on, because Satan YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVER ME! You have lost this battle for I am victorious.
Are you afraid? Afraid to start? Afraid to fail? Afraid to change? God wants us to overcome the obstacles in our way. Most of the time the biggest obstacle is ourselves. So, have a talk with yourself. Get real. Make sure God is there with you when you have that talk and let Him tell the real you what He believes about you. Let Him pour over you what it is He sees in you. You are worth it! Now believe it! =) Be Blessed!