I started a daily devotional with a friend, mainly to help keep me accountable since I am terrible at doing something consistently. We are following the S.O.A.P method. Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer. We journal those four parts. The first day, the verse of scripture that jumped out at me the most was Luke 22:61. Mainly the first sentence. It has continued to really stay at the forefront of my thoughts for the past week. I felt like I needed to get more of what it was saying to me written down on here.
Luke 22:61(NLT) says, At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.”
That part leaped from the pages. Why? I find myself falling into the pattern of getting easily distracted by other things when my walk with God and everything seems to be going good. VERY easily. To the point where the end of the day will come and I haven’t read my Bible, done my devotional or even prayed. I will tell myself, “Self, you must do better tomorrow!” Self doesn’t always listen though and then everything starts to fall apart because I have made other things a priority. Then I fall into the pit of despair where I berate myself for not being “an awesome Christian” and I don’t want to even try anymore. It’s more or less a pity party with me being the only attendee.
But, this passage seemed to jump out at me because the image that went through my head was it was I that Jesus was turning to look at. Not because of me denying Him but to see where I was. For how long has He been constantly checking over His shoulder to see if I was still following him? How many times have I been following Him and then got distracted by something on the path? The bigger question for me is, when am I going to learn to not pay attention to the little things glistening along the road and pay more attention to the shining Light in front of me who is trying to take me to places that pale in comparison? By getting distracted, other things that happen (because I have broken my focus) seem to take a life of their own and either get blown out of proportion or they lead to a bigger mess to clean up and fix. Unhealthy things begin to creep in…like jealousy, bitterness, anger, frustration, discontentment. With those things taking up more space in my mind and spirit, it leaves less and less room for peace and He who I was focused on in the first place. My countenance changes. My light (that we are told to shine bright for Him), dims.
This all goes hand in hand with my main goal for the year of bringing balance into our home. To get that balance though, I first have to make sure that God is guiding our methods for doing so. I need to identify the things that so easily distract me and take note. When I see those things coming up on the path, I need to be more mindful to ignore them and press in more to He who I’m following. So, let’s start down this path again. Failure only exists when you stop trying. Come on, Lord. Forgive me for breaking my gaze and let’s do this again. =) Be Blessed!